


Chocolate Flowers

by chocolafied, LunaTheLoneWolf



Series: Crack Creed [6]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Chocoholic, Chocolate, Chocolate flowers, Ezio needs to stop with the chocolate, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Inspired by Real Events, My OTP, Parody, This ship sails itself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 14:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2273136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolafied/pseuds/chocolafied, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaTheLoneWolf/pseuds/LunaTheLoneWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sofia decides to show that he does care about Ezio by getting her a vase of chocolate flowers. Now he just has to keep them away from the chocoholic before Valentine's day. Should be easy with Yusuf's help... right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> This was made because of Ezio screaming how much she wanted this vase of chocolate flowers. Then I had to ruin it for her by saying what if Sofia got it for her.

**Characters  in this story:**

 

* * *

 

                “Quick, hide it!” Sofia rushed over to Yusuf with the dress nearly tripping him with every quick step he took towards the assassin. He shoved the chocolate and flower bouquet into her hands and then urged her to hide it somewhere, _anywhere_.

                Time was running out.

                “Hang on,” the bomb tech assassin raised an eyebrow at the man’s frantic movements and the way he bit his lip nervously while eyeing the door to the hallway. She gave a pointed look towards the still door, then back to the older teen. “Just _what_ is going on?”               

                “I got Ezio chocolate for Valentine’s day. You know; the bouquet she was trying to steal from the store the other day?” Yusuf nodded and then gave a dark smirk.

                “ _Ahh_ ,” the assassin took the bouquet without resisting and eyed the man from head to toe. “You’re more worried about her murdering you for chocolate than you are about getting your clothes back.” She used her free hand to cup her face and gave him a mocking look while blinking her eyes in adoration. “ _Awwww_!”

                He turned red, just like Ezio would, and bunched the fabric of the dress into his fists while gritting his teeth. “Just. Hide. _It!_ ” He gave a nervous look towards the door before looking back at Yusuf. “Before she—”

                “ _SOFIA!”_

                The pair froze and turned to look at each other while their blood chilled in their veins. The floor began shaking as the sound of stomping footsteps came closer. Sofia turned to look at the Turkish assassin, took the bouquet while raising his skirt with his free hand, and bolted past the bomb nut and flew out of the room faster than she could process where he went. Yusuf turned around when she heard the door slam shut.

                And then the door from the hallway flew off the hinges and crashed into the wall next to the doorway. Yusuf froze and felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up at attention. “ _Yusuf~”_ She breathed shakily before turning back to look at the mentor assassin. _She’s pissed and I don’t know anything. Greaaaaat._

                “H-Hi, Ezio.” The look Ezio was giving her made her freeze as she pivoted on her heals. A demonic red glow came from the shorter brunette’s ice blue eyes and she bore her teeth in a similar way that a dog would when provoked. The older teen’s menacing look then changed into a childish pout as her eyes suddenly became watery and she puckered her lower lip while clasping her hands together.

                “Sofia was bullying me and ran off before I could kill him. Do you know where he went~?” Yusuf swallowed and then pointed towards the door that Sofia had just fled through. Ezio smiled innocently and nodded her head. “ _Thank you~ <3.”_

                And then Ezio became what she was best known for; a bitch with a chocolate problem.

                She grinned psychotically and that deadly sheen came back into her eye as she laughed lowly. “ _SOFIA!_ ” Ezio zoomed past the younger assassin faster than Sofia had. At this rate, he was screwed.

                And the shrill scream she heard a few seconds later only confirmed Yusuf’s thoughts on the matter. A moment later, Shaun walked in with a cup of steaming tea in her hand. She gave a questioning look towards the nervously twitching Yusuf and then looked down the hallway as Ezio “interrogated” Sofia.

                “Those two at it again?”

                Yusuf nodded stiffly.

                “ _Ah.”_ The Brit sipped her tea contently and then retreated back to her computer. The assassin followed as more cries for help and annoyed yelling came from the hallway.

                About a few hours later, Yusuf munched on a few chips by herself at the kitchen table at the Assassin’s base. Slow and dragged footsteps drew nearer towards her and then the owner finally sat down next to her. The assassin turned slowly, chips hanging out of her mouth as she gazed upon a disheveled and disoriented Sofia who was in _desperate_ need of some first aid treatment.

                Or hospitalization…

                …Or the Plague Doctor.

                Whichever one was easier to get him to.

                Yusuf stared at the older boy for a moment; unfazed by the way he looked before blinking her eyes and continuing to munch on her chips. “What the _Hell_ happened to you?”

                Sofia gave her a pointed look. It reminded the assassin of Ezio for a moment as he exhaled while puckering his lips stiffly. “Let’s recap, shall we?”

                One finger came up as he began counting. “I asked you to help me hide Ezio’s Valentine’s Day present. That didn’t work out so well.” He raised another finger and used one from his other hand to cross the other two as he counted the past events off. “And then you ratted me out and told her which way I _ran for my LIFE!_ ” He leaned towards her with each word he pronounced. Yusuf had to lean back a bit to maintain her personal bubble.

                The male sighed and gave a calm smile as he counted off his third and final reason. “And finally,” he spoke up again. “And Ezio beat me up until my guts were on the floor to find out what I had just told you.” Yusuf couldn’t help but note that he had a pleased look on his face, like a cat that had just received a bowl of cream.

                She blinked skeptically at first, forcing another mouthful of chips down her throat. “And what happened after that?” she asked.

                Sofia grinned deviously and sighed, smugly leaning back into his chair with his arms crossed behind his head. “You mean ‘Did she find out?’” he corrected. “If that’s what you’re wondering, then no, she didn’t.”

                Yusuf let her mouth fall open and the chips she had in her mouth fell back into the bag as she stared at the man. _She heard him right, didn’t she?_ “You mean to tell me you _lied_ to Ezio?”

                He nodded and smiled foolhardily at her.

                The assassin sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You are a very brave man.” She quietly spoke with a sympathetic look in her eye as she studied him. “I will speak of kind things at your funeral.”

                Sofia grimaced knowingly and raised a hand to rest it on the girl’s shoulder in return. “Thank you. That means a lot to me considering Ezio will probably talk trash about me.”

                The two shared a sigh of the impending doom he shared and then Yusuf reached into the bag she held and offered him a chip. “Want one?”

                “Yes, please.” He took the chip and mournfully munched on it.

                The door to the kitchen flew open and Caterina came rushing in, along with Claudia. “Sofia, you _might_ want to hide.” The noble woman spoke up as she readjusted her glasses.

                Yusuf and Sofia glanced at each other before looking back at the two ladies, whose faces were suddenly overcome with fright and pure terror. “It’s Ezio. And she’s _not_ happy.”

                The man turned to look at the assassin and clutched her shoulders before shaking her violently. “You _have_ to hide me! _PLEASE_! SHE’LL MURDER ME BEFORE I TURN EIGHTEEN! I’LL DO ANYTHING JUST DON’T LET—”

                A smirk and mischievous look appeared on Yusuf’s face as she stroked her imaginary beard. “’Anything’, you say?”

                Sofia froze and swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt the floor shake beneath him and heard the mad assassin approach once more. “…I am going to regret this, aren’t I?”

                “Probably,” the girl replied before shoving him under the table. “Ladies, want some Lays Chips?” Claudia and Caterina squealed and flocked to the table and nearly ripped the bag from Yusuf’s hands.

                And for the second time that day, the door slammed open and at the doorway stood the more fearsome and possibly insane assassin in the whole city as she growled and glared at the three women sitting around the kitchen table.

                The bomb tech looked up casually and smiled lightly, shrugging her shoulders as she bit off a piece of a chip in her hand. “Oh, hey De la la la.”

                The brunette’s glare shifted to the suspicious noble women to the master assassin. She gritted her teeth as she spoke. “Where. Is. _HE?”_

“Packed up and ran over the border before you came back. He wanted to let you know that ‘you’ll always have Paris’ or some stupid nonsense like that.” Yusuf replied with a bored look on her face as she blandly looked at the mentor while waving a chip in the air.

                Ezio turned red. Clouds of dense steam began to seethe off of her face as she clenched her fists at her side and eyed the door like a mad woman. “SOFIA!”

                “Hey,” Yusuf spoke up again. “You’re turning red again. Maybe you should go see the Doctor. I don’t think that’s a healthy shade compared to your usually pale face…and there she goes.”

                Had she been in a more clear state of mind, she would have noticed the table jumping slightly from her yelling. But she wasn’t. And she didn’t bother to open the door as she stormed out of the room. She just ran right through it.

                After the silence abated and the trio was actually able to process the Ezio-shaped hole in the door, Yusuf turned, leaned forward and picked up the table cloth to look at the fear-stricken man who was in a fetal position on the floor and shook her head with an amused sigh. “You are so _damn_ lucky I’m a good liar.”

                The man glared at her. “Then where was that _handy-dandy_ lying technique before when I _needed_ it?!”

                The assassin shrugged as the man crawled out from underneath the table. “Didn’t have enough time to come up with a story.”

                Caterina laughed to herself and then pointed at the assassin. “I liked the reference you used.”

                Yusuf’s smirk twitched and she sighed annoyingly. “I heard Ezio talking about _Casablanca_ the other day and just rolled with it.” She turned her attention to the teen boy dusting himself off and straightening his dress as he stood. “Although,” the assassin began.

                Sofia turned to face him with a narrowed and inquisitive look as he raised a thick eyebrow at her. “I would think about leaving the country for a while if I were you. Or the continent….or even the time period.” The younger girl nodded her head and smiled to herself as she picked up another potato chip. “ _Yeaaaah_. Time period would probably be the best thing.”

                He dead panned and then scurried out of the room the same way Duccio had ran away when Ezio had dealt with him a few years back; frantically and like a _wimp_.

**Author's Note:**

> Ezio: I will get that chocolate... IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! @A@
> 
> Yusuf: Feedback is awesome and flames will be used to melt all the chocolate in the world.
> 
> Ezio: ...wat.


End file.
